Monday 2 March 2015

The Penny Pincher

When I was almost two years single (WOW!), I had an unforgettable date with a lovely (I use the term loosely) and positive (term used even more loosely) lady (yeah... yeah... I know what you are all thinking xd). 


But rather than just tell you that it went horribly wrong, I'll let you make your own judgements...

All of us have been on that spectacular first date with a person... Everything is perfect... Her dress flutters briskly... Your shirt is crisp... She smells like Chanel vanilla... Him, like a Borneo... The situation seems like it is the ideal dating situation, till everything falls apart like a deck of perfectly balanced cards. 


This situation can only be exacerbated when the woman acts like a female version of Mr. Krab from Spongebob....




It was a nice chilly afternoon, the sun was setting and the last rays of light were reflecting off the water's surface. There is where we began our date. Simple enough... Yet interesting enough to be an ice breaker. The slight tinge of blue to her old lips, warmed up with a quick kiss... Her frame shivering ever so slightly... The gentleman's response is the simple slip off with a jacket on her shoulders... Two things happened here;
               1. I get to put my arm around her, as if to stop the jacket from falling and to warm her up 
               2. I just showed her what she should be treated like.



Now I know that the women reading this are going to say something on the lines of "Not this again... -.-' " or "Ego much... O.o". Hey! Probably she thought it too but who cares... You just took control of a situation in less than 2 minutes and just got bumped up a few notches on the nice guy (and probably hotness) scale.

Listen ladies... Prince Charming doesn't exist! He's a normal guy who simply becomes Charming through loving his women!!! Just so you know... He makes mistakes too!!!



Now... where was I... Ah... Yeah... In those moments, I'm sure she already felt better about our situation. On a scale of 1 -10 on physical attractiveness... She would have been around an 8... Her shy and cute character... Maybe a 9 ;) 

First we went to watch a film... I bought the tickets (with snacks = approx 20 Euro) and it was for the First The Hobbit movie... She seemed interested so I had no worries... IT WAS GREAT!... Unfortunately, she did not enjoy it as much as I did. She seemed bored if anything else. Personally, despite being slightly slow at first, a world different from our own is refreshing... On the other hand, the other choice of film would have been something worse and more comedic. I thought a little drama would be exciting! 



Following the movie, we went for a round of bowling. She was pretty good, despite wearing tight jeans and cute long t-shirt/ dress thing, and beat me easily with a round to spare. Her mood became elated. She was winning points with me. After, I paid the receptionist (approx 15 Euro). 

Timing everything to the T, we ate at a local popular pub. We sat down comfortably and shared a starter. This was followed by a pitcher of Long Island Iced Tea and the arrival of our mains;1 large Fish and Chips, and a whopping 350g Angus Burger! Yum! After the dessert, I went to pay (approx 25 Euro)... Unfortunately, I was around 1 Euro short...I asked her reluctantly and after she helped me out, we left the restaurant.



The moment, we took a step out of the restaurant... Barely seconds later!!! I got into an argument with her... She decided to outline three points in the middle of a bar that would also make three reasons not the date her again!



               1. You have to pay everything! And don't ask a girl for money on a date!
               2. You don't know what a woman like me wants!
               3. You are not ready for a women like me! *gestures to her whole body from head to toe*

We walked back to my car without even glancing at each other... I drove her home and left her there... Never to speak with her again - yet she called me back and said that she thought we could sort out our issues! IT WAS OUR FIRST DATE!!! WHAT ISSUES!!!

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